1 year ago
Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
HA HA!!!!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Da Dum, Dump Dump Dump...another Mouse bites the dust.....
Little Katie-did met her demise at the hand or paw of the Great White Mouse Hunter yesterday evening. She finagled out of her cage, which proved to be a fatal move. Her sisters were in a panic looking for her with in the cage and her mother and aunties with the help of , whom they thought was a caring and diligent dog, all around the outside of the cage. They were soon proven wrong.
Her auntie found her lifeless body in the living room and blood on the mouth of the killer. Forensic evidence found on the victims body and at the scene of the crime (DNA samples matched the saliva of the killer and a single white hair was found on the victims body) lead police to the apprehension of Melia "The Pig" MacCrea.
Although pleading insanity due to her recent stroke (heat stroke) the killer was tried and found guilty of 1st degree murder by rough housing in a jury of her 'peers' (she feels they are no peers of hers) .The judge felt that a sentence consisting of ignoring the Westie , no cookies, sleeping on her own bed and no school for 1 day fit the crime. She will be paroled tomorrow morning at 7 and released into the custody of her brother...since everyone else knew that "THE WESTIE CAN NOT BE TRUSTED"!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I Gotta Stop Watching Shit!
[14:03] Kikinea: I wonder if I have that thing that was on mystery diagnosis...they did test my thyroid right
[14:06] jon: no hun u don't
[14:06] jon: and yes they did
[14:07] Kikinea: you don't know...her hair and skin were all dry like mine and she was tired all the time
[14:07] Kikinea: it causes miscarriages
[14:08] jon: he already mentioned your thyroid being fine
[14:09] Kikinea: a year ago
[14:09] jon: i am sure its fine
[14:15] Kikinea: okay, when I am dead I will haunt you for that
[14:15] jon: 4 what
[14:16] Kikinea: saying it was fine
[14:16] jon: i didn't say it your doctor did
[14:16] Kikinea: I know...just a warning :0)
[14:16] Kikinea: when you cant find anything ever...that would be me
[14:16] Kikinea: moving all your shit when I am dead
[14:18] jon: no
[14:20] Kikinea: yep
[14:51] Kikinea: my head is killing me
[14:55] jon: i am sorry
[14:55] Kikinea: it okay :)
[14:59] jon: i can fix it
[15:01] Kikinea: yea
[15:07] Kikinea: I am telling you Hashimoto's disease
[15:08] jon: huh
[15:08] Kikinea: that thyroid thing
[15:09] jon: hypochondriac
[15:09] Kikinea: ass
[15:09] jon: no
[15:10] Kikinea: Fatigue and sluggishness, Increased sensitivity to cold
Constipation Pale, dry skin A puffy face Hoarse voice An elevated blood cholesterol level Unexplained weight gain - occurring infrequently and rarely more than 10 to 20 pounds, most of which is fluid Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness, especially in your shoulders and hips Pain and stiffness in your joints and swelling in your knees or the small joints in your hands and feet Muscle weakness, especially in your lower extremities Excessive or prolonged menstrual bleeding (menorrhagia) Depression
[15:10] Kikinea: SEE
[15:11] Kikinea: my hips and neck have been hearting for months
[15:11] jon: symptoms are general
[15:11] Kikinea: LIES!
[15:11] Kikinea: I am dieing
[15:11] jon: same as stress
[15:11] jon: no your no fuckin dying
[15:12] Kikinea: am too
[15:12] Kikinea: call the morgue
[15:12] jon: no i will call pig
[15:12] Kikinea: she cant lift me
[15:12] jon: cynder can
[15:12] Kikinea: dude "you may become more forgetful, your thought processes may slow, or you may feel depressed."
[15:13] Kikinea: I so have this
[15:13] jon: those are symptoms of life
[15:13] Kikinea: I see the light
[15:14] jon: don't go towards it
[15:14] Kikinea: ass
[14:06] jon: no hun u don't
[14:06] jon: and yes they did
[14:07] Kikinea: you don't know...her hair and skin were all dry like mine and she was tired all the time
[14:07] Kikinea: it causes miscarriages
[14:08] jon: he already mentioned your thyroid being fine
[14:09] Kikinea: a year ago
[14:09] jon: i am sure its fine
[14:15] Kikinea: okay, when I am dead I will haunt you for that
[14:15] jon: 4 what
[14:16] Kikinea: saying it was fine
[14:16] jon: i didn't say it your doctor did
[14:16] Kikinea: I know...just a warning :0)
[14:16] Kikinea: when you cant find anything ever...that would be me
[14:16] Kikinea: moving all your shit when I am dead
[14:18] jon: no
[14:20] Kikinea: yep
[14:51] Kikinea: my head is killing me
[14:55] jon: i am sorry
[14:55] Kikinea: it okay :)
[14:59] jon: i can fix it
[15:01] Kikinea: yea
[15:07] Kikinea: I am telling you Hashimoto's disease
[15:08] jon: huh
[15:08] Kikinea: that thyroid thing
[15:09] jon: hypochondriac
[15:09] Kikinea: ass
[15:09] jon: no
[15:10] Kikinea: Fatigue and sluggishness, Increased sensitivity to cold
Constipation Pale, dry skin A puffy face Hoarse voice An elevated blood cholesterol level Unexplained weight gain - occurring infrequently and rarely more than 10 to 20 pounds, most of which is fluid Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness, especially in your shoulders and hips Pain and stiffness in your joints and swelling in your knees or the small joints in your hands and feet Muscle weakness, especially in your lower extremities Excessive or prolonged menstrual bleeding (menorrhagia) Depression
[15:10] Kikinea: SEE
[15:11] Kikinea: my hips and neck have been hearting for months
[15:11] jon: symptoms are general
[15:11] Kikinea: LIES!
[15:11] Kikinea: I am dieing
[15:11] jon: same as stress
[15:11] jon: no your no fuckin dying
[15:12] Kikinea: am too
[15:12] Kikinea: call the morgue
[15:12] jon: no i will call pig
[15:12] Kikinea: she cant lift me
[15:12] jon: cynder can
[15:12] Kikinea: dude "you may become more forgetful, your thought processes may slow, or you may feel depressed."
[15:13] Kikinea: I so have this
[15:13] jon: those are symptoms of life
[15:13] Kikinea: I see the light
[15:14] jon: don't go towards it
[15:14] Kikinea: ass
Monday, May 18, 2009
For the LOVE OF........!!!!!!!
If you are squeamish, don't read this or look at the pictures.
This weekend started off great. The Smalls and Jon went up to Lesly's pool for Crystals birthday party . I had a performance at the Living Traditions Festival. I always enjoy being out in good weather with good friends. Kumu was here and that was a great added bonus. We dances well and had great food and it was an all around good time.
Sunday started well...we had planned to go tho a park with my family to celebrate little Jake's birthday. Until, like clock work, Jon lost his mind. This time not as bad as sometimes, but this one was his typical....everyone stop what you are doing and help me find whatever it is I am looking for, even if it isn't something i need to take with me to the current location we are heading or I will tear the house apart and yell at all of you and ruin whatever day is left!!!!!
The girls and I had taken all we needed to his car and came back in to help him fine his headphones. After the world resumed rotation, I headed back into the garage to start loading the car....I stepped over the bag of Weed and Feed...and all of a sudden this burning, excruciating paint seared up my foot!!!!! I look down and there is a garden rake STUCK IN MY FOOT! I lift my foot and grab the handle of the rake to hop over to the stairs.....I am in the mean time yelling at Jon about putting his tools away, and am pretty sure I threw my keys at him. I sit down and muster up all the strength I have and pull the thing out of my foot. Blood everywhere the girls are freaking out as they walk me into the bathroom where I clean the wound in the sink.
We head out to the park and my dad was insistent I go over to the firehouse right next to the park for them to check it out. He had already explained the situation to them by the time I got there. All I could thing was "Thanks god I had a pedicures last week" .After they dressed the little hole that might as well have been the size of the grand canyon by the pain it was inflicting, they told me I needed to have a shot and to go to the Insticare. I tried to debate my way out of it, both with the firemen and my father to no avail. The best I got was a couple hours of time to hang out at the park and then It was straight to Instacare, do not pass go.
The park was a blast!!! Pig was run ragged and so was Cynder for that matter. She disappeared for a minute, so not like her and I look over at this picnic table next to us and she was sleeping under their table, with their golden ;) She is so funny. She got all kinds of loves form her new best friend Bobbie. Pig played ball for hours with kids and some random kids as well. The Smalls skate boarded and rode scooters....wait, Jon skate boarded and the kids did other stuff. We joked that if he was going to fall, now would be the time since we were already going to Instacare :)
My dad insisted on taking the kids and dogs home to make sure I go to Instacare and not talk Jon out of it. Now I feel stupid!!! Little hole, bunch of trouble. While my mother called every two minutes to ask how to reissue the passes for next year they cleaned it and gave me a tetanus shot. My blood pressure however was 148/100 and they were not to jazzed about that, but come on...not really a relaxing day :)Here are the pictures....it almost went all the way through. They said I bruised the bone inside as well...Fun Stuff!
The first left one....the clean part was in my foot, the rest was in my shoe.
You can see where it almost came out, the bruise below my pinkie toe. Good thing I had shoes on or it would have!!!
We got home and I was worried that we may have over done it for Cynder when Pig started hacking up water and bile.....She is okay now, she just over did it...too much fun for one little puppy ;)
This weekend started off great. The Smalls and Jon went up to Lesly's pool for Crystals birthday party . I had a performance at the Living Traditions Festival. I always enjoy being out in good weather with good friends. Kumu was here and that was a great added bonus. We dances well and had great food and it was an all around good time.
Sunday started well...we had planned to go tho a park with my family to celebrate little Jake's birthday. Until, like clock work, Jon lost his mind. This time not as bad as sometimes, but this one was his typical....everyone stop what you are doing and help me find whatever it is I am looking for, even if it isn't something i need to take with me to the current location we are heading or I will tear the house apart and yell at all of you and ruin whatever day is left!!!!!
The girls and I had taken all we needed to his car and came back in to help him fine his headphones. After the world resumed rotation, I headed back into the garage to start loading the car....I stepped over the bag of Weed and Feed...and all of a sudden this burning, excruciating paint seared up my foot!!!!! I look down and there is a garden rake STUCK IN MY FOOT! I lift my foot and grab the handle of the rake to hop over to the stairs.....I am in the mean time yelling at Jon about putting his tools away, and am pretty sure I threw my keys at him. I sit down and muster up all the strength I have and pull the thing out of my foot. Blood everywhere the girls are freaking out as they walk me into the bathroom where I clean the wound in the sink.
We head out to the park and my dad was insistent I go over to the firehouse right next to the park for them to check it out. He had already explained the situation to them by the time I got there. All I could thing was "Thanks god I had a pedicures last week" .After they dressed the little hole that might as well have been the size of the grand canyon by the pain it was inflicting, they told me I needed to have a shot and to go to the Insticare. I tried to debate my way out of it, both with the firemen and my father to no avail. The best I got was a couple hours of time to hang out at the park and then It was straight to Instacare, do not pass go.
The park was a blast!!! Pig was run ragged and so was Cynder for that matter. She disappeared for a minute, so not like her and I look over at this picnic table next to us and she was sleeping under their table, with their golden ;) She is so funny. She got all kinds of loves form her new best friend Bobbie. Pig played ball for hours with kids and some random kids as well. The Smalls skate boarded and rode scooters....wait, Jon skate boarded and the kids did other stuff. We joked that if he was going to fall, now would be the time since we were already going to Instacare :)
My dad insisted on taking the kids and dogs home to make sure I go to Instacare and not talk Jon out of it. Now I feel stupid!!! Little hole, bunch of trouble. While my mother called every two minutes to ask how to reissue the passes for next year they cleaned it and gave me a tetanus shot. My blood pressure however was 148/100 and they were not to jazzed about that, but come on...not really a relaxing day :)Here are the pictures....it almost went all the way through. They said I bruised the bone inside as well...Fun Stuff!
The first left one....the clean part was in my foot, the rest was in my shoe.
You can see where it almost came out, the bruise below my pinkie toe. Good thing I had shoes on or it would have!!!
We got home and I was worried that we may have over done it for Cynder when Pig started hacking up water and bile.....She is okay now, she just over did it...too much fun for one little puppy ;)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
KOURTNIE!!!!!!
If you have met my daughter, you know she is a special soul. She is very sweet, helpful and kind to every one. HOWEVER!!!!!! She can be a real pill when she wants to be. This time it was about a fish.
Conversation that took place between Jon and Kourt: (guesstimating)
Kourt: Guess what
Jon: What
Kourt: The did a drawing at school and I won a fish
Jon: Cool Kourt
Jon: Cool Kourt
Kourt: Yea so can I bring him home
Jon: Sure, I don't see why not
Jon: Sure, I don't see why not
*No one Tells mom*
The following week, between Kourt and I:
Kourt: Mom, we have this fish his name is Scott, that the kids like, take turns to take home
Me: Okay
Me: Okay
Kourt: Can I bring him home to take care of him?
Me: Sure
Kourt: You meed to sign something saying it is okay
Me: Okay, bring the form home
Kourt: No you just write something saying it is okay
Me: Okay
*writes note : 'Kourt may take care of Scott...KVieta'*
Kourt brings Scott home.....
Kourt: I brought Scott home...
Me: Cool, How long do you have him?
Kourt: Um...Forever......
Me: *Sigh*
Kout: Mom?
Jon and Pig have changed his name to Charlie and refer to him as Chuck. Pig has this unhealthy Obsession with him and we had to put him up and out of the way. What do I do to deserve a conniving child with and angelic smile!?! We just got rid of the "mutant fish" and so help me God if this one lives to be 6 years old as well...wait, she will be in College and can take him with her! Woohoo!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new shoes!!!
Me: Did you find anything mom?
Mom: No, not really...lets go over to Payless and see what they have
Me: You are NOT buying shoes at Payless
Karyn: Krissie, these so look like you...
*sound of angels signing on high as the world stands still for just a moment*
Me: Oh...my....give me those
Mom: You are not buying shoes
Me: Oh but mom!!!!!! They fit!!!!
Mom: You don't need more shoes...where are you going to wear those?
Me: I would wear them to clean the house!
Mom: Jon will flip, how much are they?
Me: $50.....oh my...look...red satin and a bow...you cant go wrong!!!
Mom: NO!!!!
*I hug the box with a poutie face*
Mom: Oh alright...here...*hands me cash*
She knew it was meant to be!!!!
Mine are red!!!!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Minnie Minnerz!!!!
Little Samantha Lauren was born yesterday!!! 6 lbs 19 1/2 inches long. She has great hair just like mom!!!! Good Job Mom!!!!!
Torture!!!
I know Jon gets a lot of slack of the teasing I lay on him. HOWEVER, it is not like he is this perfect little angel with a bitch wife who for no reason likes to tease and make fun of him. He deserves everything he gets!!!! Just a couple of weeks ago, Kourt told us about how a friend at school just noticed she didn't have eyebrows. Well she does they are just really blond and you cant see them well........*creak* That door was flung open!!!!! Poor thing!
Well here it is, another torture pon in his court!!! The 9th book in my series came out on Monday. I don't get it till mothers day...I have been waiting for 5 months for this thing to come out! So, what does my darling husband do......takes me in to pick it up!!!! Lets me carry it to the car....then takes it away. Oh he did give it back....to barter it for his own sick pleasure! "You can read it now, if you..........." ASS! The he opens the package and smells it!!!! Who does that!
See! He deserves everything he gets! Don't feel bad for him in anyway!
Monty....
I was leaving for hula when I saw our bird loving next door neighbor (the rooster guy) looking in our bushes with a flashlight. um ...okay...I said to myself, please GOD tell me Jon doesn't have anything is in that bush!. I cautiously approached the determined man and jokingly said "Did you lose something Jon?" He said "Yea, my baby chickens, a big grey cat scattered them". Oh Hell!!!! I mean he isn't really big, he is just fat. I occurred to me at that moment, that there isn't an animal in my house that is outwardly mobile that likes that particular neighbor.
Monty is not what you would call a virile cat. I mean he didn't hunt, he would get in an occasional fight here and there. Without claws and that furry fanny pack he has, he isn't really a worthy opponent. Well unless he planned on knocking then unconscious with his breath, he might as well be a stuffed dummy for kitty-foo students.
After we searched the entire back yard for the little guys, and learning my kids can scale my fence (AH AH! So that's how the slats keep coming out!) , I walked our neighbor out the gate and headed up the stairs to the kitchen door....and who do you think was sitting there...Mr Pansie Paw in the Chicken Coup. He looked at me as to say "What?! I was here the entire time!"
Fried chicken is crack for that cat. This is no secret. He has absconded with an entire breast that my dad was holding in his hand. I can just see the conversation he had in his head:
"Whoa!!!!! Chicken Nuggets!!!!"
I swear....we will have to move because our animals cant play nice! Look at him...what a physique.....a fabulous specimen of a hunter! NOT!!!!!
Monty is not what you would call a virile cat. I mean he didn't hunt, he would get in an occasional fight here and there. Without claws and that furry fanny pack he has, he isn't really a worthy opponent. Well unless he planned on knocking then unconscious with his breath, he might as well be a stuffed dummy for kitty-foo students.
After we searched the entire back yard for the little guys, and learning my kids can scale my fence (AH AH! So that's how the slats keep coming out!) , I walked our neighbor out the gate and headed up the stairs to the kitchen door....and who do you think was sitting there...Mr Pansie Paw in the Chicken Coup. He looked at me as to say "What?! I was here the entire time!"
Fried chicken is crack for that cat. This is no secret. He has absconded with an entire breast that my dad was holding in his hand. I can just see the conversation he had in his head:
"Whoa!!!!! Chicken Nuggets!!!!"
I swear....we will have to move because our animals cant play nice! Look at him...what a physique.....a fabulous specimen of a hunter! NOT!!!!!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
*Sigh*
Phone Rings...7:40 AM
ME: Hello?
Kourt: Mom?
Me: Yea
Kourt: They wont let me in the school
Me: Why
Kourt: Cuz I am sick
Me: Kourt, you are not THAT sick
Kourt: Well they asked me what I had and I said you said I had the "Pig" flu
Me:*sigh*
Me: Kourt, we were KIDDING!!!! You know...dog, pig, swine...
Kourt: Oh.
So she was sent home for THREE DAYS!!!!!
Stupid PIG!
ME: Hello?
Kourt: Mom?
Me: Yea
Kourt: They wont let me in the school
Me: Why
Kourt: Cuz I am sick
Me: Kourt, you are not THAT sick
Kourt: Well they asked me what I had and I said you said I had the "Pig" flu
Me:*sigh*
Me: Kourt, we were KIDDING!!!! You know...dog, pig, swine...
Kourt: Oh.
So she was sent home for THREE DAYS!!!!!
Stupid PIG!
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