New Category!

Since I have started working Downtown, I have seen all kinds of strange things going one. I mean, not like aliens taking small children strange, but strange things that the people seam to think are normal behaviors. So I thought I would start a new category called...What The.....Really! So here you go, the first two of the new category :)


That's not crack...that's ass!!!! The sad part is...I was wedged between Trax and the walk way so I had no escape. I mean really...can't you feel the cold on your ass?!




This guy cracked me up...he has a pinwheel on the front of his street cleaner!! Right on, way to make your job fun!

MONTY!!!!

Jon: Hey Hun, should we hang your wreath on the back door?

Me: I don't know, I was thinking the front door.

Jon: Well we can think about it and hang it this weekend.

*Puts wreath on table*

Me: K

DUDE!!!! REALLY!

Funnies!

Christmas for ME!!!!!!

I love My Job Part II

Where else would you find glitter like this on the pavement?!

I LOVE My New Job!!!!

MMMMMM Breakfast!



What else are beta tapes good for if not to play Jenga?!!!

My Husband The Geek!

When this was sent around in mass email...I laughed so hard, because this is really something Jon would do!!!!!

Case in point, only not at Walmart, but at Pier 1......

Exhibit A.......

Exhibit B.....

SEE!!! They know what they are doing to get out of shopping. Mind you this was his first time shopping with me since Christmas 08 and we were in the store for all of 5 minutes!!!!!!

Let's Play "Is You Cat's Butt Bigger Than....."

Our first contestant Monty is a 12 year old Russian Blue/ Tabby Mix from Sandy Utah, he enjoys sleeping on his moms expensive chair, drinking out of a margarita glass and knocking things off the kitchen counter.

Bring out the first item......


Is your cat's butt bigger than a cell phone?


10 Points!!!!

Is your cat's butt bigger than a your hand?

10 Points!!!!

Is your cat's butt bigger than a soda can?

10 Points!!!!!

Now for the final round and for 50 points......is your cat's butt bigger than a large baseball cap?

50 Points!!!!! You Won!!!!

Tell them what they have won Bob......

A lifetime supply of cat food weight control and a kitty treadmill!!!!!!!

*Applause*

Seriously!!!

These have got to be the cutest thing ever. Cute shoes made of chocolate. However with them being as perfect as they are, I would find it hard to eat them. Gayle's Chocolates makes these wondrous lovelies and other fun things as well. Check them out!! JON!!!!! HINT HINT!!!!

Little lauren's "Time Capsul"

Those of you who know little Miss Lauren, will laugh at this.

Monday I was cleaning out some of the basement....SOME OF...mom! Do not come over all excited! Technically I was cleaning out under the stairs so I could get the stereo out to hook up to the TV. Now, since both Jon and I worked at Ultimate Electronics, we have random stashes of Monster Cable and the like, all over the place. See in our world one place is no fun. You have to work for it...search high and low, to the point of utter frustration. Kinda like a sick scavenger hunt!

One of the 5 places they could be in is our closet we have all our games and movies and random computer parts. This also happens to be the closet we keep all the kids coloring stuff and craft crap. So needless to say it is a disaster 362 days a year. Kelsie is not the crafty type so we know who always makes and leaves that mess! Kourt! Just like wherever she goes, there is a trail of trash, papers, pens, food, dishes and anything else you can think of. You can almost follow the trail and see exactly what she did when she got home.

As I sit on the floor in front of the closet, I start to put away some of the clutter so I can reach this Tupperware that has some wires in it, in hopes of finding red, white and yellow cable. When something bright blue catches my eye, in an otherwise dark closet. I pull it out and it looks like a present. I belt out "JON!!! You gotta see this" as I laugh hysterically.

He comes in as I hand him the blue box and he starts to laugh. "So, she knows that this closet will not be cleaned for decades and it would be a safe place for this?" he says. We both bust out in laughter!

"What do you think is in it" he asked
"Stereo cables I hope...."



*Sigh* Lauren...whatever will we do with you!!! :)

Silly Stuffs......

This one reminds me of Kumu and his photo bombing ;)

Traffic Fail!!!!

Tape Status......I totally agree!

Bobbie's Commercial

Vampire Godrick!

Yep!!! I picked Kelsie's husband!

SORRY!

Sorry for the lack of posts, I have a new job and it takes soooo much of my time. After I get back for Hawaii next week I will get back on the ball :)

Jon on Dieting

Jon: Look...I still have 95 calories to eat.
*shows me 'My Plate' on his IPod*
Me: You know if you eat less than your daily calorie intake you can gain weight cuz your body thinks it's starving.
Jon: Really?! So you should get as close as you can.
Me: Yea
*Jon mumbles to his ipod....Sprees, Yea Sprees*

Okay, so lets take a look at his 'Daily Plate' for the day shall we!?

7.19.09
8 oz of coffee (1 pot)
1 Turkey and Cheese Samitch
8 oz of crab and corn chowder (try a pint)
and my favorite 8 Corona Extras

7.20.09
4 8 oz cups of coffee (my ass!!!! More like 4 pots)
7 pieces Family Mix Redvines
1 cup crab and corn chowder (um yea....1 large bowl)
5 pretzels
1 turkey and cheese samitch
1 20 oz Cherry Coke
and you guessed it 15 SPREES!!!

That's Nutrition! He really should write his own book! The Jon Vieta No Diet, Diet! Why give up candy and beer when all you have to do is stay within your calories!

The really sad part is he still insists, even as I type this that he is still within his calorie range!!! Dude!!! REALLY!

On That Note..WTF!?

"Yea I was looking for some pants that look like....well...kinda like I was wearing my cardigan with my legs threw the arms...Have you got anything like that?!"


"Stop! Hammah Time!"

If You Don't like Your Job.........

As I browsed online today to 'see what I could see', I came across this model. Now, maybe it is me, but shouldn't the model make the clothes look good? I mean really. Isn't the point of the anorexic perfect model wearing clothes that trick you into thinking that it would look as good on you as it does on her?! Well in a size 12 instead of 0 like her. I mean, how different could it look right?! Well someone forgot to tell this J Crew model that was the plan when they hired her. She slouches and has this look like "do I have to!". HELLO! Bitch you are getting paid to look good to sell product...build a bridge! My other question is...what the hell was the editor thinking when he said "YES DARLING!!! That's the pose I want! You will make us MILLIONS in sweater sales!"
*Sigh*
*Steps off soap box*

I Swear The Shoe God's Hate Me!!!!

Betsy Johnson Risky Magenta - A.K.A Not in my size :( I want them BAAAAAD!

Betsy Johnson Gail - A.K.A Not in my size or price range......

*SIGH*

New Clothes.....

Just some pictures of my new stuffs!!!

What Do Pig's Buy at Home Depot?!

Why sticky mouse traps of course......she has gotta catch Kelsie and Kourtnie's babies some how! They are FAST! ;)

NICE!

Hybrid Human/Vampire
Either you were born of a human and a vampire, or you have been bitten and not feasted on a fresh kill. You have some of the vampire powers, like quicker reflexes, etc. You have fangs but they are smaller than average. You can still be killed by bullets but you are more likely to survive them than humans. You may suffer a few effects of vampire weaknesses but nothing that will kill you in limited doses