Gladys is Awesome!!!!

Get Smart!

Last night we went to see Get Smart, at the suggestion of the girls. I loved it! I grew up watching it on TV. Usually by default because Heathcliff or Inspector Gadget wasn't on yet.

I thought Steve Carell was awesome! I can't think of a better actor to play Maxwell Smart then him. I kinda felt that you had to see the TV Shows to really appreciate it, but then again Kelsie was laughing her little toosh off through the entire thing. Kourtnie on the other hand was not really amused.

Here is the trailer



Here is the Opening credits of the original for nostalgic sake ;)

I Never Have To Go To The Market Again!!

Okay, so....not unlike getting gas, I loath grocery shopping. One of the biggest fights Jon and I got into was when we went grocery shopping together.

Jon:Uh, what are these?
Me: Cotton Balls
Jon: What the hell do you need those for
Me: Jon they are $.99
Jon: I don't care, you don't need them
Me: Yes I do!
Jon: For what?
Me; Lots of stuff
Jon: Put them back
Me: JON! They are freaking $.99
Jon: That's not the point, you don't need them put them back
Me: I just said I DO Need them
Jon: FOR WHAT
Me: STUFFFFFFF

The rest of the dialog when on for an hour until we got home. To answer your question..YES I got them and YES I used them and YES that was the last time Jon got to go with me to the market:) oh wait, I lied I did take him one other time after that where he YELLED from the feminine Hygiene isle "BABE YOU WANT THE TAMPONS YOU PUT IN WITH YOUR FINGER OR WITH AN APPLICATOR!"I swear he does this on purpose!

Anyway...I have been tracking what I eat and could not remember how big the salmon fillets were I bough, so I was hoping maybe the Albertson's website might tell me. Low and behold I got so much more then I hoped for!!!! There it was...in small, unassuming letters that changed my life forever:

"DELIVERY $9.95"

WHAT!!! You mean I can order my groceries on line and they send it to my house! No carts dinging my car door.....no fights with the kids on "Can I have (Insert the strangest possible thing you can think of like a Lobster for a pet or can of olives)"...no more Jon and the cotton balls!!!!! I am elated, ecstatic....any more excitement and I may just pass out!

For the small price of $9.95 I can avoid one of the biggest headaches I have! My kid will have food to eat and not left to put together random meals like hot dog bun toast with dry granola cereal in a plastic cup and water, REAL FOOD!

The best part is...I can have it delivered and the girls put it away before I get home. Its like having a magic refrigerator...always stocked! Why shouldn't I have a magic fridge, growing up I had a magic chair...ask my mom, she'll tell ya! :) Anyway you gotta check it out!

Blasphe-me, Blasphe-you, Blasphe-everyone in the room....

China Is Ready to Host the Olympics!

My sister sent me this email..I swear I almost peed myself:


Say it don't spray it.....


After whitening and peeling it, wouldn't that be a given?


Are the fish biting today?


You can always use a helping hand


Please go over there to die


Pimp entrance is in the back


All my friends are "Liquor Heads"


Here crippie, you can take my seat


I can abuse them at Albertson's for free


Love Dork!


Can't I carry my alcoholic on?


Set it, and forget it


Is the a park or a restaurant?

Shoes!

This post is a desperate plead to all my shopping friends. For Father's Day my family and I went up to Ruth's Diner up Immigration Canyon. There was this girl who had on the cutest shoes. I am sure it is no shock that I just have to have them. My stupid husband wouldn't go ask where she got them so...on your shopping travels please keep an eye out for White with small black polka dot stilettos with a peep toe and black Patton leather that spanned the back of the heal and down the heal. this picture is close but not them.....

GAS!!!!!

I don't know really what my deal is with putting gas in my car. I would sooner have my nipple pierced then put gas in my car. So as I went to lunch today I realized that after three days of being on empty I should go fill up. I mean it would suck to have to call Jon and tell him to bring me a gas can. Not that he would, but Rudy would, and laugh all the way to there and back and tell the saga at every family gathering until I die. I just don't need that aggravation.


Windows up, AC off and radio low, like that helps in someway, I venture to the closet Chevron on 90th south and State. I weave my way through the sea of construction cones and wait for my chance in the turn lane. After waiting through at least one song on the radio I turn into the Chevron and realize that you cant go through the pump stalls. Oh no...those construction cones are squatting all along the other side. So you have to back out after your done at the pump.


I proceed to enter my card, no I don't want a car wash, save a tree by not taking receipt, scoff as I turn a blind eye to the very large letters on my gas tank door that says "Premium Fuel Only" by selecting mid grade for $4.11, Cuss at the ridiculousness of the price as I put the nozzle in my tank and watch as my retirement disappears in Chevrons pockets.


Just then the pump stops at 10 gallons and all the lights are off on the pump. WTF! I look around, every one's stopped. I go inside and the smug little man behind the counter tells me that they are doing maintenance and it will be back on in 5 minutes. Like it isn't bad enough that your charging me what you are, now I have to wait to see if my credit card implodes for the charge.


The pumps come up and I kid you not, I have to rerun my card start all over! Now I definitely don't want a stupid car wash and I will tell you where that receipt can go, and now the gas is coming out like it was molasses. Forget it...after pumping $3.50 worth of gas I call "Uncle". I will live on 3/4 of a tank. This is why, I remind myself, I hate to get gas.

This Guy Makes Me Laugh!

PT Vieta Wants More PT!!!!!

Okay so, Jon and I took the kids home to Hawaii in April. It was one of those trips that there really wasn't a plan or agenda, just wake up and the first thing that pops in your head is where we would go. Nothing like a game of quick association to plan your days activities. I guess we should be lucky we didn't end up in a Thai bar somewhere, dollar bills in hand, "Okay girls after your lap dance give the nice lady your money in her thong".

One of the things we did, that to this day I am amazed we hadn't taken the kids to, was Pearl Harbor. I remember being small and going on field trips there and being bored out of my mind. I mean it is a significant part of our history but to a 4th grader its just a huge oil leaking rust bucket under water with dead people in it. With that in mind we decided to take them on one that was above water to give them a perspective.

Off the to Missouri we went. We messed around with anything that wasn't bolted down or tied off. Hell history should be fun right :) It was a blast. We spent three hours on this boat laughing. Lauren found a phone in the wheel house and put it to her ear "WHAT! We are under attack.....do we have insurance?" Pukashell took the phone and said "Uh...No". We about peed ourselves.

Where was I...oh yea...boot camp. Jon took pictures of us messing around and when I saw them I about cried. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT AROUND MY STOMACH! Ever see that commercial..I think it is Lipo Lean or something, where there is a computer generated grid of a fat person...the resemblance in uncanny!!!

That's it ...I've had it. All my friends back home had enlisted in Boot Camp and all lost gads of weight. I will be the fat Friend no more! First thing I did when I got home is enlisted at Boot Camp With Jess

Bootcamp with Jess from KaleFitchProductions on Vimeo.
.

After signing my life away in wavers, you know the "I understand that Boot Camp with Jess is not responsible for any and all damages to my mind body and soul, If I am impaled or maimed from any and all equipment including but not limited to the "Big Wooden Bitch" it is from my own stupidity and not the fault of any or all instructors" I was ready to go.

If the thought of wearing a 30 pound vest, while doing a non-stop hour work out, chanting strange cadences with no meaning wasn't punishment enough in my mind for my appearance, I let my friend Randee talk me in to going at 6AM!!!!! Now those who know me also know that there is only one 6:00 in my clock...and that "ain't" it!

With a loud condescending laugh from Randee about my pink towel, pink water bottle, pink weight gloves and black knee pads off I went at 5:45AM that Monday, to have my naive ass kicked into shape. By 6:15 I had realized I had made a big mistake and maybe I am okay with being fat.

Despite myself, bleachers and the stupid "Bad little monkey whose names Coco" I did make it through the so eloquently coined "Hell Week". Did I mention I had not one, nor two but three people pushing my pathetic self up "Asshole Hill"?! I also, to my surprise, made it the next week and am now on my fourth week.

What can I say, either I have masochistic tendencies or all those years in radio truly made me nuts, but I LOVE IT! I am addicted. My knees hurt, some days I can barely walk and the food is ridiculous but the gratification is beyond worth the agony.

Did I mention the Instructors?!? Okay, nothing like going somewhere in all your morning glory, you know...no make up, quick brushing of your teeth, Raccoon like remnants of last nights make up, hair in a pony tail needing to be washed, sweating like, well as Randee says a "wildebeest" and having a hot, very built instructor whiteness it all. Its great...who needs dignity right. The comedy really comes in when you see 5 adult women on treadmills all almost fall off as they take in the sights of a toned ass demonstrating a proper squat.

If the thought ever crossed your mind to do it......you really should. Call them and check it out. Tell them PT Vieta sent you. Meanwhile I will keep you posted on my progress!!!

It's All About Me!!!!

My name is Kristie and this is my blog. I currently live in Utah. I was born and raised in Hawaii. We live on the island of Oahu in Kahala. After my father had enough of my preteen shenanigans, I was sent to Utah to live with my sister and finish up school.

I was married shortly after high school to a real "winner" who to this day loves to make our lives hell. I guess it’s a small price to pay for the gift of my “Smalls”.

I have 2 wonderful girls that remind me not to take life so serious. My little red head is a real lover and has picked up my Husbands witty sarcasm. My Pukashell is a real sweetheart and wants to do her best for all. Oh, and I can’t leave out our littlest "Pig". She loves her sisters dearly.

My wonderful husband Jon that makes me laugh, respects and embraces my love for the Hawaiian culture and has adapted to living the island life very well (especially the food). The way I see it...anyone one that that can body board at Sandy's, get wiped out by a local boy and survive(insert stereotype here)...means the island had taken a likening to him too. :)

We belong to the Ka Lama Mohala Foundation here in Utah. If you haven’t heard of it, here is the skinny. The foundation was given a grant to open a Hawaiian Cultural Center in Utah (741 W. Smelter Street, Midvale, UT 84047. These amazing people have made a safe haven for all that have lived, ever loved or of Hawaiian lineage to come and be with others that are the same. You really feel at home and safe, where you always greeted with a smile and a kiss.

It started as a Hula Halau under the instruction of the late Kumu Clarice Wahineali'i Nuhi, whom we dearly miss. We are now under the instruction of Kumu Kāwika Keikiali'ihiwahiwa Alfiche, who resides in San Francisco. He is a remarkable being. There are some people you meet in life that just astound you with their empowerment, knowledge, love and humanity. This does not even begin to scratch the surface of this man. He is an addiction to your mind and soul. We are beyond fortunate to be given the chance to be in his world. I have danced with Ka Lama Mohala for 6 years. I love my hula sisters dearly.

I worked in radio for 10 years at Bountiful broadcasting, I mean Regent Broadcasting...I mean Jacor Communications...no Clear Channel Communications. :)Few! I worked in traffic for most of those years and then became the Continuity Director for the latter 3.

I left my radio family in June of 06 to work for my brother-in-law as his Accounting/Business Development manager for his hydronic heating company. In the words of My Clear Channel GM Stu "It's not as sexy as radio." That it isn’t, and I miss my friends and the chaotic fun and laughter everyday brought.

Traveling is my favorite past time, I truly don't do it enough. I go home every year if not more (Delta Brat), and am checking of my 100 before I die little by little.

Well, I am board of talking about myself....So that’s me....
See ya!