.jpg)
3 years ago
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Mr. Happy!
Soooo, for Jon's birthday we took him to the Oyster Bar. My sister Karyn is the queen of silly but very right on gifts. For my birthday she gave me a pink, sparkle, Chuck Taylor key chain....it's AWESOME!!!!! She have Jon a little Range Rover because he needed a car and some wood to burn his denim shorts we all hate. The one gift Jon got the most enjoyment out of was....well....the best way to show you, is to just let you see for yourself!!!!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Only Jon!
Yesterday started off in an extraordinary fashion. Nothing really to write home about. In fact it was so uneventful I was feeding myself coffee intravenously just to stay awake to surf the net.
I had lunch with Jon, we had to look through the city weekly just to entertain ourselves....I love the "I Saw you" section, Jon loves the escort section. Jon called me on my way back into work to make sure I didn't fall asleep...obviously knowing I would at this point.
So as I am thinking its time to go home and it's strange that Jon hasn't made his daily call to tell me how shitty the drivers are in Utah and how much he hates I215, usually interrupted with a "Jesus Dude...move the fuck out of the way!" or "There is no breaking on the freeways!" while laying on his horn. And my father wonders why Jon is always in the passenger seat whenever we go anywhere. Not that it keeps him from yelling or honking the horn for that matter, but at lease we arrive alive!
I did get my call...but with a frantic Jon on the other end....Apparently a Yellow Fright Line truck had decided to use the left turn lane as a starting point to back into a driveway. That's all fine and dandy, but he neglected to check if there were any cars behind him before backing in...like ...oh...say.... a big, black, Chevy Blazer with a lift on it. The guy hopped his truck on top of Jon's hood and didn't stop there...Jon had to get out and run up to tell the guy he was on his truck! This is the great part...the moron puts his car in drive to pull forward to get off Jon's hood....lets see wheels on one side of hood, truck on the other...hell he already crushed the front of the car...a flip wont hurt!
So, Jon is out a car...and driving mine!!!!! The ride in is only 10 minutes and my shoulders are still stuck up around my head.........Happy Birthday to me!
I had lunch with Jon, we had to look through the city weekly just to entertain ourselves....I love the "I Saw you" section, Jon loves the escort section. Jon called me on my way back into work to make sure I didn't fall asleep...obviously knowing I would at this point.
So as I am thinking its time to go home and it's strange that Jon hasn't made his daily call to tell me how shitty the drivers are in Utah and how much he hates I215, usually interrupted with a "Jesus Dude...move the fuck out of the way!" or "There is no breaking on the freeways!" while laying on his horn. And my father wonders why Jon is always in the passenger seat whenever we go anywhere. Not that it keeps him from yelling or honking the horn for that matter, but at lease we arrive alive!
I did get my call...but with a frantic Jon on the other end....Apparently a Yellow Fright Line truck had decided to use the left turn lane as a starting point to back into a driveway. That's all fine and dandy, but he neglected to check if there were any cars behind him before backing in...like ...oh...say.... a big, black, Chevy Blazer with a lift on it. The guy hopped his truck on top of Jon's hood and didn't stop there...Jon had to get out and run up to tell the guy he was on his truck! This is the great part...the moron puts his car in drive to pull forward to get off Jon's hood....lets see wheels on one side of hood, truck on the other...hell he already crushed the front of the car...a flip wont hurt!
So, Jon is out a car...and driving mine!!!!! The ride in is only 10 minutes and my shoulders are still stuck up around my head.........Happy Birthday to me!
I Love Eric!!!
He wrote this one year for my birthday when I worked at Clear Channel...he kills me!!!
(NOTE: In the continuation of the Month of Jon's, Kristie's husband is name Jon Vieta. This is almost getting creepy.)
There's an old saying here in traffic: "What is said in the traffic department, stays in the traffic department."There is only one exception to this rule, and it happens on or about Kristie's birthday.
I remember when I first started working here about five years ago. My former company (Trumper) had just been bought out by the "Big Bad Clear Channel" and I was asked to come over to the traffic department here to help "smooth the transition." (The truth is, my other boss was sick of seeing me, so she sent me over to Kathy in an attempt to sabotage the operation.)
My first day here was filled with people being extremely nice to me. (It only lasted one day.) I remember Kristie saying out loud, "Now that we have a BOY in our department, we're going to need to watch what we say."It's now been five years, and I'm still waiting to see for that moment.
A few things you may not know about Kristie (unless you've served time with her):
She only accepted the job as Continuity Director because it came with an office. She's still saving up to buy a door for the office, and when she does she will...in her own words..."Keep it closed so I don't have to deal with any of you nincompoops." (I used the word "nincompoop" to replace a naughtier word used by Kristie.
She's the only person I know that will complain all morning about being hungry, and then when lunch time comes, she'll go get her nails done instead of eating. ("I changed my mind," she'll say as she comes back through the door.) Ten minutes later, she is complaining how hungry she is. But hey, at least her nails look good.
She's a Virgo. Normally that wouldn't mean anything, but out of the six people that work in traffic, half of them are Virgos. The rest of us are...well...not Virgos.
She talks about her dog more than she talks about her husband, kids and parents combined.
If you have some time to waste, mention Tom Cruise to her. (With the exception of the volleyball game on Top Gun, she has nothing good to say about the former Mr. Nicole Kidman.)
I hope you have a great Birthday, Kristie. Because if you don't, the rest of us will hear about it on Monday.(NOTE TO KATHY: Can I have Monday off, just in case?)
(NOTE: In the continuation of the Month of Jon's, Kristie's husband is name Jon Vieta. This is almost getting creepy.)
There's an old saying here in traffic: "What is said in the traffic department, stays in the traffic department."There is only one exception to this rule, and it happens on or about Kristie's birthday.
I remember when I first started working here about five years ago. My former company (Trumper) had just been bought out by the "Big Bad Clear Channel" and I was asked to come over to the traffic department here to help "smooth the transition." (The truth is, my other boss was sick of seeing me, so she sent me over to Kathy in an attempt to sabotage the operation.)
My first day here was filled with people being extremely nice to me. (It only lasted one day.) I remember Kristie saying out loud, "Now that we have a BOY in our department, we're going to need to watch what we say."It's now been five years, and I'm still waiting to see for that moment.
A few things you may not know about Kristie (unless you've served time with her):
She only accepted the job as Continuity Director because it came with an office. She's still saving up to buy a door for the office, and when she does she will...in her own words..."Keep it closed so I don't have to deal with any of you nincompoops." (I used the word "nincompoop" to replace a naughtier word used by Kristie.
She's the only person I know that will complain all morning about being hungry, and then when lunch time comes, she'll go get her nails done instead of eating. ("I changed my mind," she'll say as she comes back through the door.) Ten minutes later, she is complaining how hungry she is. But hey, at least her nails look good.
She's a Virgo. Normally that wouldn't mean anything, but out of the six people that work in traffic, half of them are Virgos. The rest of us are...well...not Virgos.
She talks about her dog more than she talks about her husband, kids and parents combined.
If you have some time to waste, mention Tom Cruise to her. (With the exception of the volleyball game on Top Gun, she has nothing good to say about the former Mr. Nicole Kidman.)
I hope you have a great Birthday, Kristie. Because if you don't, the rest of us will hear about it on Monday.(NOTE TO KATHY: Can I have Monday off, just in case?)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
It's The New Shmoo!
I am so deliriously tired today that on my way back to work I slipped into a slight coma. As random flashes of senseless shit ran through my head, I started thinking about one of my favorite cartoon characters Shmoo.
The strange thing is I still have a Shmoo stuffed animal....and if you look closely at my front yard, where we put a planter box area....it's shaped as Shmoo too. Well, I mean shaped like Shmoo when he isn't taking the shape of something else....that being said I guess everything is shaped like Shmoo...but not his original shape.....and......well...nevermind :) The point is I guess he never left me :)
The strange thing is I still have a Shmoo stuffed animal....and if you look closely at my front yard, where we put a planter box area....it's shaped as Shmoo too. Well, I mean shaped like Shmoo when he isn't taking the shape of something else....that being said I guess everything is shaped like Shmoo...but not his original shape.....and......well...nevermind :) The point is I guess he never left me :)
My Poor Parents!!!
Okay, it is no secret I am a spoiled brat....
Me: Daddy.....do you know how to build a pergola?
Dad: You mean an harbor
Me: No a pergola...harbors are smaller
Dad: No, but I bet we can figure it out
Me: Cool...I need it for my BBQ
Dad: When is that?
Me: Saturday
A strange silence came over the other end. So I did what any woman does when they want a man to do their bidding...start it my self!!! My mom taught me that trick....See then it makes them nervous that you will jack it up and they jump in before you do!
Me: Dad, what do I need to buy for the pergola...Jon and I can do it.
Dad: (Laugh) Well...you need...How big is this thing going to be?
Me: 11x11
Dad: I need to look at it first....
Me: K can you come over tonight?
Dad: No I have things to do.....
Me: Okay I will look online and find out what I need, Handyman magazine says it is a weekend project...We can figure it out. I mean how hard can it be, you slap four posts up and make a top...poof...pergola.
Dad: I will see you at 6
Three days later....I got a pergola!!! I love it! My poor dad....But it really isn't his fault, I mean I am just so darn cute he cant say no!
Slap 4 posts up
Put on top
Poof...Pergola!!!
Me: Daddy.....do you know how to build a pergola?
Dad: You mean an harbor
Me: No a pergola...harbors are smaller
Dad: No, but I bet we can figure it out
Me: Cool...I need it for my BBQ
Dad: When is that?
Me: Saturday
A strange silence came over the other end. So I did what any woman does when they want a man to do their bidding...start it my self!!! My mom taught me that trick....See then it makes them nervous that you will jack it up and they jump in before you do!
Me: Dad, what do I need to buy for the pergola...Jon and I can do it.
Dad: (Laugh) Well...you need...How big is this thing going to be?
Me: 11x11
Dad: I need to look at it first....
Me: K can you come over tonight?
Dad: No I have things to do.....
Me: Okay I will look online and find out what I need, Handyman magazine says it is a weekend project...We can figure it out. I mean how hard can it be, you slap four posts up and make a top...poof...pergola.
Dad: I will see you at 6
Three days later....I got a pergola!!! I love it! My poor dad....But it really isn't his fault, I mean I am just so darn cute he cant say no!
Slap 4 posts up
Put on top
Poof...Pergola!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
